Friday, July 1, 2011

A not really happy birthday

So tomorrow I turn 25. This fact has stirred all kinds of emotions in me, most of which being negative as I recall all of the many broken promises I have made to myself and subsequently the elite few of you I call my fans. I fail day after day to preform for you, my people who I can only hope understand me. I am not going to turn this into yet another forgiveness begging speech, as I have made many of those in the past.
 But as of 4 in the afternoon tomorrow my age can be described as a QUARTER OF A CENTURY. This is a rude awakening for me. Any last little shred of a post high school wannabe teenage creature in me needs to die a painful death as I hurtle toward the next adult step in my life. I need to take things more seriously, not only for the few of you who will read this but for myself. I am not a child anymore. There is no one to blame but myself. I fight tears as I write this, angry at myself and scared of an uncertain future. I don't know if I can make it as an artist, performer, writer, or whatever title I end up wanting, but I owe it to myself to at least try. I have let months pass without a thought. That's the funny thing about time, it doesn't need or want your permission. It will march onward like a trusty soldier whether you want it to or not. And time has started pelting me like a ton of bricks that is just warming up.
I can't and won't promise monumental changes in the way I run things but I would like to. I know myself too well though. I am prone to failure when I take too much at once. I've gone through moments like these feeling like I need to make a mad dash toward maturity but falling short and feeling like I deserve breaks that grow into unwanted ruts. I don't want to do that now. All I want to do is to say I realize I am, as an understatement, flawed. I will try to maintain a basic format for things to get myself in order but try is about the most I can promise. Aside from wrestling with my own procrastinating inner monologue, I am facing many personal demons in my own life.  These things get in the way some times.

I can say I will do what I can though. Changes must be made.

To the few that will read this, you are my muse. I love you all.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011


So since I have once again allowed this blog slip into the clutches of neglect, I've missed sharing a few things with you few fine folks here.

Mid September of last year, I decided to shake things up in the hopes of chasing away a depression I was fighting. On a whim, I submitted a few pictures of my work to a jurried art show that would be happening in November called Oddmall. Up until then, I'd never tried to have my work judged for any sort of show or gallery.We had already planned to attend this show in the hopes of meeting one of my heroes, Ms. April Winchell who was scheduled to appear. I figured "What the hell" and so I sent the email, expecting a rejection and hopefully helpful criticism.

Not more than a half an hour later I received a response that just about blew my mind. I was told that my work was exactly the sort of thing they were looking for and that I should reserve my booth immediately. I was thrilled.

I dedicated all of October to working furiously towards having an impressive booth when the big day came. I've never turned out so many completed pieces as when I was working against that deadline. If only I could harness that momentum for everyday use.
I started to run out of room on my trunk.
The month marched on and the day grew closer.

I've never done a craft show before but I spent my childhood tagging along with my mother and aunt as they did antique show after antique show. I was the dirty little girl you see running around the flea markets, playing little games and taking naps under the tables on top of boxes. 

My babies all packed up for their big day!
So I have had experience with putting together cohesive booths and working with customers. I knew how to play the game, this would be the first time I would be in charge of things. 

All wrapped up for the night. 

On November 5th we left at about 2 in the morning and drove all night and all day to Hudson Ohio. We faced hiccup after hiccup and finally made it to our hotel, a shady looking hole in the wall (not the place where it was being held). And as we pulled into the parking lot of what would be our base camp, It began to snow in heavy clumping sheets until it was nearly white out conditions. But none of the hassles and problems we dealt with could spoil the excitement. We headed to the show to set up, spending about five hours preparing the first official Mad Gypsy booth. 

The next morning, bright and early it was showtime.

It was incredible. Despite the crowd being thin due to the unexpected blizzard the night before, it was still amazing. I watched a little girl fall in love with a barrette and beg her mother for it and then wore it immediately. I saw a woman examining an ornament and then returning hours later saying he was calling to her and she just couldn't leave without him! It was such an great feeling to actually be there to watch someone fall for a creation. Simply amazing.

So yes there were snags, and weather issues, and it was less than profitable when travel and expenses are figured in.
But I can't wait to do it again.

Hopefully you will see me at the spring show!!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Okay this time for reals.

I'm super serious this time.

I've yet again neglected this blog for months on end but that's ending right now. So brace yourself world.